1 CLOCKCLEANER - AUF WIEDERSEHEN
"I am just a dreamer, and you are all my dreams...None of this was real, except when it was..."
I was hooked up to this record, on repeat, for several hours on Sunday while I pulled an all-nighter. The four tracks on this album - pulsing, melancholy, dark and dreamy deathmarches - matched my state of mind (despaired, destructive and delirious) dead-on. I am currently hooked up for another dose - as rusty and ominous as intravenous iron but WAY BETTER. It gives me the strength to grit my teeth and trudge on, to get through another long, uneasy night...
"It's okay, it's the same, something's always on her brain...
It's okay, I am fine, this will all just end in time...she will always be insane...cause something's always on her mind..."
My neuroses are novelties, bruises that bloom into psychoses. The maniac laugh; the woeful, doleful sideways glance; the half-smirk; wise-crack; wiseass remark.
I can't keep a straight face. Can't form a sentence that isn't punctuated with a scoff - a once-quirky affectation gone haywire.
I am on a loop, looping, loopy.
I am on a loop, looping, loopy.
I can't quit [spinning]...won't stop [skipping].
To others I am a mere curiosity. The death on my breath brings them to the brink with me. It's a thrill that I know well: the headrush, heady brush with what's next. The closer, the better.
I have no remorse, no resentment, no ill-will.
In fact, I have nothing at all.
"The sadness at your parties was my fault...When I say this is over, you will not exist...
Would you please be quiet? Would you just shut up? I'm sorry...I'm trying to say goodbye..."
*All lyrics in quotations by Clockcleaner
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